A Child’s Life
​
Parent Education and Family Stabilization Course
First Hour

Modules 1 and 2
Divorce as Loss and Parental Roles

1.Divorce as Loss (10 min)
Objective of the Component:
The objectives of the component are very useful to study the entire component. They are listed below:

• To recognize divorce as the loss of family structure
• The process of divorce experienced by children and adults.
• The Distinction between divorced partners and continuing parental role.

Effects of Divorce on Parents and Children:
Divorce is painful, mind-altering, emotionally wrenching and an event that impact entire life. When it comes to children, the devastating effects of divorce on children further complicate the loss of family. Here, not only spouses lose their search for stable love, the effect of the loss of their children is also inevitable. Young helpless sufferers of family collapse are left to pick up the bits of "emotional earthquake". The parents who see their children suffer, their own pain deepens.
Divorce is traumatic for everyone in a family. For the husband and wife, there has been a path of pain that leads to divorce. Once the decision has been made to divorce, each spouse begins the process of grieving the loss of union. If it comes to children, life after divorce can be more of a challenge to navigate. No matter how the divorce is amicable or hostile, children still feel the effects of divorce. Children are suffering too. Their lives are completely disrupted and their behavior can become difficult to handle.
For a child, his parents are the benchmark to its place in the world and a source of stability. When you have lived in a home with both parents together, and see their parents as those who can fix or overcome anything, divorce is the realization that it is not something that their parents could fix and are now displaced.
Different losses and differences which children face are:

• PARENTAL LOSS
• ECONOMIC LOSS
• MORE LIFE STRESS
• LACK OF PARENTAL COMPETENCE
• EXPOSURE TO CONFLICT

Questions:

• What evidence do we have about how each of these factors affects children in divorced families?
• Why do children and young adults from divorced families still seem to be more distressed than children from intact families?

2. Permanency of Parental Role/Shared Parenting (20 min)

Objective of the Component:
The objectives of the component are very useful to study the entire component. They are listed below:

• Information about how children are affected by continuing parenting relationship.
• Contact with both parents.
• Type of support children need from both parents

Each parent brings unique qualities to the relationship between parent and child, and the child's life is enriched by the participation of parents with different styles, backgrounds and values. The challenge for divorcing partners to develop a new relationship that focuses on shared parenting. Children benefit from the same kind of parenting whether their parents live in one home or two homes.

Types of support children need from parents:

• Degree and duration of hostile conflicts
• Quality of parenting provided through time
• Quality of the parent-child relationship.

By learning how to manage their conflict, parents effectively, and nurture warm and relationships with their children love, parents can have a powerful and positive effect on their children, even as they undergo many difficult changes in their own lives. Besides revealing these difficult emotions, research has also shown that short-term negative for children after divorce consequences include decreased academic performance, poor psychological adjustment, social and emotional adjustment, and the concept itself negative.

Problems:

• Children speak very little about the divorce of their parents 
• Parents emotional state can make it difficult to focus on the needs their children

Effective Parenting:

• Characterized by clear guidelines, limits and appropriate expectations for age
• Effective discipline helps children
• Interactions between parents and children 
• Open communication 
• Family routines 
• Developing a network of support, finding legal procedures that focus on the developmental needs of children

Questions:

1. What is effective parenting?
2. What are the problems in shared parenting?

Second Hour

Developmental Stages and Parent to Child Communication
Module 3 and 4
3. Developmental Stages of Childhood (20 min)

Objective of the Component:
The objectives of the component are very useful to study the entire component. They are listed below:

• Information on developmental stages of the childhood.
• How divorce effect the development of children.
• What parents should do to lessen the impacts of divorce.

What babies experience in Divorce:

• Don’t understand what is happening.
• Cannot verbalize about what is happening.
• Signs of distress when parents are exposed in a discussion.
• Disturbed mentally 

Signs of failure:

• Agitated or nervous. 
• Crying or demanding in quality

What parents can do to help:

• Maintain a consistent routine for your child.
•  Step of holding, rocking, hugging and talking to your baby.
•  Shower your baby with love and smiles.
• Keep regular appointments with your baby's doctor

Preschool children (3-5 years)
This is a stage of development in which children learn many new skills. They can talk, make their own friends and start taking care of themselves
What preschoolers experience in Divorce

• Cause of divorce
• Feel scared by the enormous changes in their world 
• Fear that never again see the father

Signs of failure:

• Responsible for the divorce
• Become sticky and want to stick close to you 
• An increase in anger 

What parents can do to help:

• Provide predictable and consistent routines
•  Inform your child's teachers or daycare they know about divorce
• Keep the other informed about events in the life of his son father. Make sure both attend special events.

  
Early Elementary (6 to 9 years)

• Family is very important for children at this stage of development.
•  The whole family instead of happiness of the family is where children in early elementary find the security
• They need to venture successfully into their world of school and friends.

Elementary school age experience early in Divorce

• Feelings of sadness, anger, guilt
• Lose the other parent
• Difficulty concentrating in school.
• Fear that one of the parents will stop loving them

Signs of failure:

• Spend a lot of time despondent
• Frequent headaches, stomach aches
• Lack of enthusiasm.

What parents can do to help:

• Accept your child's feelings
• Never say degrading things 
• Help your child see that although his family has changed, still a family.
• Tell and show your child that you love her
• Do not encourage hopes for your child that you and the other parent back together.

Later Elementary (9 to 12)

• This is a developmental stage when children become more independent from their parents. Friends take on an even more important role.
•  At this stage of development, your child is likely to be concerned about how the divorce will affect your social life at school and with friends.

​Later elementary school age experience early in Divorce:

• Feel torn between parents.
• Feel anger and embarrassed 
• Often worry about their parents 

Signs of failure:

• Problem in actions such as poor school performance or get into fights.
• An increase in physical symptoms such as headaches, stomachaches
•  Premature sexual activity.

What parents can do to help:

• Model for your children to take good care of yourself.
• Encourage your children to be physically active.
•  Make a point to keep abreast of what's going on with school and friends.
• Talk with your child about what is happening and how you feel.

Adolescence (13 to 18):

• The main task of adolescent development they get ready to leave home and live responsibly on their own
• While in many ways they can operate, as adults are not yet adults. 

Teens experience in Divorce

• You may feel anxious about leaving home.
• They may feel responsible for the divorce
• Feel rejected and scared
• Resent their parents to spoil their life. 

Signs of failure:

• Talk to delay their own plans 
• Extremely negative 
• Increased aggression.

What parents can do to help:

• Offer love, encouragement and support
• Stay in the role of parent
• Encourage your child to get on with life
• Encourage her to spend time with their other parent.
•   Tell your child often that you love.

4. Parent To child Communication (10 min)

Objective of the Component:
The objectives of the component are very useful to study the entire component. They are listed below:

• Information about divorce relating issues with children
• Effect of divorce in development of a child.

Parents are able to responsibly manage their own feelings and opinions about divorce or separation. In some situations of divorce, parents may have different opinions about why things did not work or be at different stages of the emotional process. If talking with children together ultimately it will create more tension, have separate discussions.
Sometimes, due to our own hurt and pain, we feel strongly that children need to hear the truth. In some families, one parent can be very committed to assigning blame for the divorce.
In the early stages, feelings of sadness and anger about the division above are usually at its strongest. To minimize the impact to your children, think about their own problems and how you will manage them in front of children.

Let children know how life will change:
Try to address the main concerns for children, such as:
• When and how they will see each parent?
• Where will they live and go to school?
• How are you going to spend time with important family members?
• How life will be different?
If children have questions that are not prepared to answer, let them know that mom and dad are still working on the details. Assure you that when you have an answer, which will be the first to know.

Tell children not to blame:
Children need to know that there is nothing they can do to change what is happening in the family. Also reinforce the point that it is not their responsibility to try to improve things between mom and dad.

Other issues to consider:

• Reactions or feelings of children
• Initial talk and follow-up talks
• Children need to hear messages from parents
• Listening to your children
• To take action
• When necessary, get help or find support

Third Hour 
Communicating with the other Parent and 
Abuse
5. Communicating with the other parent (10 min)

Objective of the Component:
The objectives of the component are very useful to study the entire component. They are listed below:

• Negative impact of a parent expressing anger toward the other parent in front of children.
• Benefits of keeping children out of parental conflict.
• Minimization of the parental conflict for the children. 

if it is true that shared parenting is not an easy solution, it is the best way to ensure that their children's needs are met and are able to retain a close relationship with both parents. The first step to be a co-responsible for mature parents always put the needs of their children ahead of their own.

Co-parenting is the best choice for their children

• Feel safe
• Benefit from consistency
• Understand better problem solving
• Having a healthy example to follow. 

When you trust in the love of both parents, children adapt faster and easier to divorce and have better self-esteem. Co-parenting promotes similar rules, discipline and rewards. Children who see their parents continue to work together are more likely to learn to deal effectively and peacefully with problems themselves, so that children know what to expect and what is expected of them. By cooperating with the other parent, you are establishing a pattern of life that your children can do in the future.
It's okay to be hurt and angry, but his feelings do not have to dictate your behavior. Instead, let 
what is best for their children-who work in cooperation with other parents-motivate their actions. When parents cooperate and communicate without explosions disputes or makes decision making much easier for everyone. If you shoot for consistency, friendliness and teamwork with your ex, the details of the decisions of raising children tend to fall into place.

The separation of the feelings of behavior

• Focus on their children and their children only
• Setting hurt and anger aside
• Get your feelings out elsewhere
• Child-centered stay
• Use your body

Children at the center

• Never use children as messengers
• Keep your problems to yourself

Important Issues

• The medical needs
• Education
• Financial problems

Disagreements:

• Respect can go a long way
• Keep talking
• Do not worry about the little things
• Compromise

Questions:

1. How co-parenting contributes in the attitude of children?
2. What are the important issues regarding communicating with other parent?

6. Abuse (10 min)

Objective of the Component:
The objectives of the component are very useful to study the entire component. They are listed below:

• Information on the power and control dynamics of domestic violence.
• Hotline telephone numbers to avail services against abuse.
• Explanation of child abuse.
• Penalties for false reporting.

Situations requiring special consideration are:

• Domestic abuse - physical, emotional or sexual abuse of one parent
• The physical, emotional or sexual abuse of a child
• Addiction problems
• Neglect or abandonment of parents
• Alienation of children by one of their parents.

"It is extremely important that you offer emotional support to children to help them cope with difficult situations involving domestic abuse and addiction"
                    
Domestic abuse and addiction
In some situations, especially those related to issues of violence or domestic addiction, a parent can try to minimize the severity of abuse / violence, or not talk about it, all in an effort to protect children from what is happening in the family. In fact, most children are well aware of the abuses.
You must tell your lawyer if the other parent has threatened, physically hurt or sexual, controlled or isolated or has behaved in an emotionally abusive manner toward you. Your attorney will be able to advise on the application for an injunction, which would prohibit further behavior of this nature or prohibit the other parent comes home. In addition to protect children physically, it is extremely important that you offer emotional support to help cope with difficult situations involving domestic violence and addiction. Often children involved in such situations have ambivalent feelings about the other parent. Some may feel deeply responsible for the behavior of parents, while others may feel quite troubled and concerned about betraying one or both parents

Tips for controlling abuse

1. They recognize what has happened and allow children to speak
2. Educate your children about the problem
3. Talking about the problem not the person

Educating children helps them.
• Understand the situation is not something that can influence or control
• Identify dysfunctional behavior
• Increase the likelihood that the behavior is not repeated in their own lives
• Build skills instead of feeling fear
• Feel empowered rather than powerless

Florida contact number:
Toll-Free: (800) 96-ABUSE (800-962-2873 800-962-2873Â FREE)

False Reporting regarding Abuse:
A person who knowingly and willfully makes a false report of child abuse, abandonment or neglect, or advises another to make a false report, is guilty of a felony of the third degree. If convicted, the person may be:

1. Imprisoned for a term not exceeding 5 years
2. Fined $ 5,000

Questions:

1. How children are affected psychologically by domestic violence?
2. What is the fine of false reporting against abuse?

Fourth Hour
Legal Concepts and Parenting Time
7. Legal Concepts (10 min)

Objective of the Component:
The objectives of the component are very useful to study the entire component. They are listed below:

• General information about Florida Family Law.
• References to statutory definitions relating to court issues involving divorcing parents and children.
• Financial responsibilities of parents for children

​Florida family law:
Rule 12.285. MANDATORY DISCLOSURE

Scope:

• apply to all actions within the scope 
• simplified solution, application, contempt, injunctions for domestic solutions 
• fees be required

Legal facts:
If ever you are not sure what a term means or have questions about how their case is progressing, discuss the matter with his lawyer

Children and Family Court Advisory and Support Service(CAFCASS)
When the court requires additional information, this independent government organization assigns a court welfare officer also known as a Report CAFCASS Officer to investigate and report on children, their desires and feelings and the ability of individual adults to meet their needs.
Points relating to further processing

• Appointment of conciliation
• Sort contacts
• Guardian
• Mandate
• Legal Assistance
• Non-molestation Order
• The welfare checklist
• Ouster
• Parenting Plan
• Parental Responsibility
• Residence Order
• The eighth section End
• Shared Residence Orders
• The Order of Court for specific question

It includes all rights, duties, powers, responsibilities and authority that go with being a parent. This means that you have a duty to care for and protect a child and has a right to make decisions about the future of that child, such as choosing your school. This does not mean that you have to pay maintenance - child support and parental responsibility are not connected in any way. Also, it is not connected to any right of the contact with the child, or he or she lives with you. Mothers have parental responsibility automatically, like married parents (whether married to the mother of the child before or after the birth of the child). Unmarried fathers have parental responsibility if they are named in the child's birth certificate as the father since December 1, 2003 (this has nothing to do with what the child's name has been given). If the child was born later than December 1, 2003, a single parent will have to have a warrant or permission from the mother to have the responsibility of parents. The order is formerly known as 'custody'. This decides where a child should live.

Questions:

1. What is the scope of Florida family law?
2. What are parenting responsibilities?

8. Parenting Time (10 min)

Objective of the Component:
The objectives of the component are very useful to study the entire component. They are listed below:

• Benefits to children in maintaining a stable and consistent relationship with both parents.
• Suggestions about developing parenting plan.
• Effective communication about parenting plans.

When parents live in separate houses, the challenges are greater because relationships become more complicated. Sometimes parents disagree about how much time children should spend with each parent. A state committee of judicial officials, mental health providers, and lawyers created this guide planning at the behest of well-known experts on child. 

What plan should be used for parenting?

• Children differ in how long they are comfortable being away from each parent.
•  Some children like to spend more time at home, while others move between homes with ease. 
• Parents may have to agree to discontinue their own schedule and spend more or less time with their
•  Parents should consider the child's relationship with each parent.

Questions kept in while choosing a Plan:

• How old is the child?
• The maturity of the child?
• What is the child's personality?
• How strong is the child's attachment to each parent?
• Does the child or parents do have any special needs?
• What are the child's relationships with siblings and friends?
• How flexible are the parents and the child's schedule?
• What childcare arrangements are necessary?
• How and where will take place the exchange?
• How will you provide transportation?
• How well can parents communicate and cooperate?

Proposed parenting time: 

1. A program of equal parenting time in which the child is not far from the other parent for more than two consecutive years.
2. Three periods of 3-5 hours during each week
3. Two periods of 4-6 hours during each week
4. Two periods of 3-5 hours and a period of 8 hours for each week
5. Two periods of 3-6 hours and one overnight
6. Two days with one parent (including nights) followed by 3 days with the other parent (including nights) with this program continues over time
7. Two consecutive nights every two weeks. A period of three to six hours
8. Split each week and weekend.
9. Each parent has the same two consecutive midweek nights a week and alternate weekends.
10. The parents share time with the child during alternating periods of 7 days. One night midweek is optional with father

Questions kept in while choosing a Plan:

• How flexible are the parents and the child's schedule?
• What childcare arrangements are necessary?
• How and where will take place the exchange?
• How will you provide transportation?
• How well can parents communicate and cooperate?

​Questions:

1. Which plan should be used for parenting?
2. How holidays contribute in benefits of parenting time?